Is it February Already?

Yesterday I manned a "HIV Information Desk" all day at the bus rank. I wasn't sure how effective it would be, but the bus rank gets pretty good traffic. I figured an Asian kid sitting amongst a sea of Africans might pique some curiosities in this corner of rural Swaziland -- and it did. They thought I was selling something, at first. By the end of the day, I had given away most of the male and female condoms and all the brochures. I learned a couple things:

1) many older swazi men think they don't need to use condoms, and emphatically so. Older people asking for condoms wasn't as off-putting as I might have once thought -- the ones who did, i was just like, more power to ya. In this culture, elders are respected (traditionally, anyway), and how they act carries a lot of weight.

2) the female condoms were popular. This is solid because the main prevention method used to be male-initiated only. Female condoms give women more control over their sex lives, which is especially helpful in places where women do not have equal status. Scientists have also been trying to develop microbicides that should help sidestep this gender inequality. Unfortunately, I just read an article saying that some major microbicide trials had recently failed. I really hope they keep trying with them though. Sometimes the technology is there (male condoms), but, despite scientific success, the existing socioeconomic structure and behavior norms makes it a real-life failure.

I just wish my siSwati was better so that I could properly explain how to use the female condoms. The older folks don't have such a good handle on English because they didn't get much in school, I guess. It worked out sometimes though because I'd be tripping all over my words so the Swazis waiting for transport next to me would take charge and do the teaching. I also have a superb healthcare book that's in siSwati. It is big on clear illustrations and simple explanations aimed at a semi-literate crowd -- just what I had been looking for. Some Swazi dude gave it to me in a bar last week. He said I should have it instead, because he was just reading for personal knowledge, but I would be "reaching the masses". I'm hardly that charismatic. Yikes, there are a lot of weird parallels between HIV Education and missionary work. If only we could be as successful as the missionaries were - there are over 10 churches that serve my community! Evangelistic Christianity is highly popular here -- I just joined a committee of PCVs to work on ways to work with the religious leadership to help their congregations deal with the disease. What's the pope's stance on condoms nowadays, anyway?

3) people still believe the Americans invented HIV to "control the African population and take their resources". It's a pervasive belief, often whispered only in confidential tones or in moments of drunken candor. One guy angrily thrust his finger at the condoms, proclaiming that "These! These spread HIV!" and then stormed off. Some Swazis believe the condoms are made with HIV to further spread the disease. I don't think the media addresses this aspect of the epidemic very much, but I think it's important. It colors what the Peace Corps and other foreign NGOs are doing here and our motivations. But it's not all dark suspicions - other Swazis have been saying to me, "Bless you... thank you..." It was a slightly embarrassing, but it makes being here more rewarding because it's often difficult to see how us being here is going to change anything. Maybe it will, maybe it won't -- but feeling appreciated is nice. Still, even the hostility isn't that bad when viewed in a certain light. At least they are being honest, especially in a culture where what you feel about injustice and oppression is supposed to be bottled up. Thus, I don't really mind if they are expressing these candid opinions to a foreigner. It's the source and sustainability of these rumors that I'm worried about.

I'm going to try to do this "HIV Information Table" maybe on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Too much, and I would just become like a lot of other anti-HIV marketing-- background noise. I gotta find the right balance of staying "novel" enough yet, at the same time, consistent. Is that too contradictory?

So I'm just killing time in Manzini right now, waiting for Mar. She had planned our February trip to Mocambique for a group of us and her sister, and now I have to leave early if not cancel. I have to meet the Rural Health Motivators to update them about the trench garden workshops for the Neighborhood Care Points (NCPs). The three NCPs around here have just started operating to feed the orphans, so it'd be nice to get the gardens going early on before the NCPs settle into their routines. Maybe I'll be forgiven if I buy her lunch. I bet she's gonna be real happy when I tell her that I can't make it to the the embassy Monday to do visas as I had promised. There's an AIDS Support Group in my area that is having their workshop all next week, and Fenny had extended a personal invitation to me.

It's not that I want to ditch my PC friends, but it's just that I want to be at site when things are just getting off the ground. So far, this work has been pretty easy -- it's kinda like elementary school Physical Education class-- you just have to show up, most of the time. I ought to be able to manage that for my community. All the same, I know it's a pretty crappy feeling to have made plans with people and then they back out. The lesson is, I shouldn't make any plans. Can my RSVP to everything from now on be a "Maybe"?

In other news, I heard from Brendan yesterday that Jenny might be coming back to site. I'm crushed for her loss but will be happy to have my neighbor back.